Break-Up Bullies: Why You Never Know Who You’re with…Until You Split
Definitely, being an introverted and highly analytical human has its advantages. On the one hand, we’re often thought to be neurotic over-thinkers who create problems when there are none. On the other hand, we’re often the only ones who can foresee the possibility of situations that seem perfectly fine in the present, going drastically downhill in the future. Namely, relationships.
…And then what??
Yeah, it’s all fun and games until “Prince Charming” cheats on you, or you find out that your little “Cinderella” was only seeking that happily ever after cash. Now what?! If you’re like most people, you ignore the negative aspects of your mate until you are forced to confront them. Thus, eventually leaving you with the rude awakening that your dream guy/gal was anything but.
You’ve likely seen them…or maybe you’ve even been there yourself; a couple seems all but perfect, then they break up and all of a sudden one or both of them is out for blood. They are cutting up clothing, bashing cars and reputations…seems counterintuitive for two people who supposedly love each other, no?
How Did We Get Here?
Well, this is a loaded question…there are a number of ways in which someone could go from a great relationship to a terrible breakup, but the bottom line is that you don’t know your ex-partner as well as you thought you did…
As aforementioned, people often ignore these negative traits for the sake of holding together their relationship. For example, if you go on a date with someone and they’re ridiculously rude to the wait staff, for no apparent reason…this is likely someone who has some character issues. Likewise, if you get into arguments with someone, and they throw every low blow at you they can muster up, this is likely someone who will try to ruin your life when your relationship is over.
Even more, often people don’t know how to let things go. If they planned on being with one person forever, some people might take their relationships for granted; lie, cheat, and steal, and still expect you to stay with them. On the flip-side, there are also people who can’t accept rejection and feel if you leave them, they have the right to ruin your life…because in their mind, you have purposely ruined theirs.
To take it a step further, many will attempt to shame you publicly, hoping you will come back to them and try to make amends; calling jobs, friends, posting your indiscretions on social media…these are all ways to try to win you back. Sound stupid?? It is!
How Can This Be Prevented?!
Get to know people! Find out about their exes, and how the relationships ended. If someone is dragging all of their exes’ names through the mud, it’s not because they’re a blameless victim and you’re better than the rest of them. Rather, it’s usually because this person lashes out when they feel rejected and can’t take responsibility for his or her own actions.
The Breakup Bottom-line
Typically, breakups bring out the worst in people because they also have the potential to bring out the best in them. Those you love can illicit hate because in feeling that deeply for someone, you will suffer a great deal when forced to feel bereft of said feeling.
Furthermore, often times people choose relationships that are beneficial to them in many ways, and may never love anyone at all. These people are happy and agreeable as long as they’re getting their way. The arguments, fights, etc…pay attention to them.
If someone is overreacting about small things, expect the overreactions to be magnified when it’s truly lover.
Though maturity level plays a huge factor, the bottom-line is that many people seem to relish in the chance to hurt someone, they once loved.