Break-Up Bullies

Break-Up Bullies: Why You Never Know Who You’re with…Until You Split

 

Definitely, being an introverted and highly analytical human has its advantages. On the one hand, we’re often thought to be neurotic over-thinkers who create problems when there are none. On the other hand, we’re often the only ones who can foresee the possibility of situations that seem perfectly fine in the present, going drastically downhill in the future. Namely, relationships.

…And then what??

Yeah, it’s all fun and games until “Prince Charming” cheats on you, or you find out that your little “Cinderella” was only seeking that happily ever after cash. Now what?! If you’re like most people, you ignore the negative aspects of your mate until you are forced to confront them. Thus, eventually leaving you with the rude awakening that your dream guy/gal was anything but.

You’ve likely seen them…or maybe you’ve even been there yourself; a couple seems all but perfect, then they break up and all of a sudden one or both of them is out for blood. They are cutting up clothing, bashing cars and reputations…seems counterintuitive for two people who supposedly love each other, no?

How Did We Get Here?

Well, this is a loaded question…there are a number of ways in which someone could go from a great relationship to a terrible breakup, but the bottom line is that you don’t know your ex-partner as well as you thought you did…

As aforementioned, people often ignore these negative traits for the sake of holding together their relationship. For example, if you go on a date with someone and they’re ridiculously rude to the wait staff, for no apparent reason…this is likely someone who has some character issues. Likewise, if you get into arguments with someone, and they throw every low blow at you they can muster up, this is likely someone who will try to ruin your life when your relationship is over.

Even more, often people don’t know how to let things go. If they planned on being with one person forever, some people might take their relationships for granted; lie, cheat, and steal, and still expect you to stay with them. On the flip-side, there are also people who can’t accept rejection and feel if you leave them, they have the right to ruin your life…because in their mind, you have purposely ruined theirs.

To take it a step further, many will attempt to shame you publicly, hoping you will come back to them and try to make amends; calling jobs, friends, posting your indiscretions on social media…these are all ways to try to win you back. Sound stupid?? It is!

How Can This Be Prevented?!

Get to know people! Find out about their exes, and how the relationships ended. If someone is dragging all of their exes’ names through the mud, it’s not because they’re a blameless victim and you’re better than the rest of them. Rather, it’s usually because this person lashes out when they feel rejected and can’t take responsibility for his or her own actions.

The Breakup Bottom-line

Typically, breakups bring out the worst in people because they also have the potential to bring out the best in them. Those you love can illicit hate because in feeling that deeply for someone, you will suffer a great deal when forced to feel bereft of said feeling.

Furthermore, often times people choose relationships that are beneficial to them in many ways, and may never love anyone at all. These people are happy and agreeable as long as they’re getting their way. The arguments, fights, etc…pay attention to them.
If someone is overreacting about small things, expect the overreactions to be magnified when it’s truly lover.

Though maturity level plays a huge factor, the bottom-line is that many people seem to relish in the chance to hurt someone, they once loved.

 

Venus L

Is It Really Love

Is It Really Love? Top 3 Signs that You’ve Finally Found ‘The One’

In an age in which the sanctity of marriage is quickly dwindling, the thin lines between love and hate seem to be all but completely blurred. That is to say, in a world promoting “friends with benefits” over official boyfriend/girlfriend relationships discerning whether you have found someone to love…or simply someone to like…for now has become increasingly difficult. Relax!

To assist in cutting out the guess work, here are the top 3 signs that your love is real!

3. You Found Love in A Hopeless Place―More than a reference to the queen of the pop charts, Rihanna, love is often found in the darkest of days…when it’s the last thing on your mind. This is not to say that it’s not love if these weren’t your circumstances. However, if a person goes out of his or her way to lift you up during times of trouble and loves you despite your dismal circumstances, you can safely assume that these actions may be motivated by love.

2. They Make You Better―This is more than a reference to the song by Rapper, Fabolous. Love should make you more of the person you aim to be, not less. If you are miserable and suppressing who you really are just to hold on to a relationship, you are only doing yourself a disservice. The truth doesn’t stay buried for long. Why pretend to be someone else for years, only to get left when the person finds out who you really are years later? Furthermore, if someone loves you he or she won’t spend their life trying to “fix” you. When this is the case, you are not wanted, only what they believe you have the potential to live up to…which may or may not ever fully come to fruition. Indeed, even if it does…do you really want to be with someone who feels you need years of work to be a suitable partner?

1. You Can Live Without Them―This is not a typo. When you are truly in love with someone you should also have your own life. There is also a thin line between love and hate, but also love and codependency. There is a reason this country’s divorce rate has been steady at 50% for so long. Many relationships are formed out of convenience, fear of being alone, etc., rather than two people taking the time to get to know one another and then decide they are right for each other. There are many people who have never been alone; never even considered it. How is this relevant? You learn the most about yourself when you are devoid of the influence of others. When you spend your entire life jumping from one relationship to the next, you may wake up one day and realize that you’re unhappy with everything. Indeed, how can you truly be satisfied with life…until you know who you are? Healthy relationships with longevity are typically found where each respective partner has their own set of hobbies and friends as well as shared and collective ones.

Overall, love is a complex concept as the definition seems to vary from person to person. Never let anyone else tell you what may or may not be right for you…but also don’t sell yourself short!

If it’s love, you should never have to ask, you should just… feel it!

Is The View On Government Changing

Is The View On Government Changing?

Over the past decade, a lot of big things happened throughout America rubbing a lot of people the wrong way. The general consensus of most of the country may still be that the Government is a positive force; however, everyday more people are starting to have a change of heart regarding those in power. From the “Occupy” movement, to the legalization of marijuana in multiple states, it’s evident that the old values American society once held so dear are starting to crumble; especially among the country’s youth.

From countless wars and military interventions, an economy that’s falling apart, and a serious breach in our constitutional rights, the trust between the United States Government and its citizens is starting to disappear. For example, the recent actions of whistleblower Edward Snowden, a former employee for the NSA (The National Security Agency). He leaked information to the public showing how the NSA spied on citizens all around the country, and even the world; through their phones, computers, and other communication mediums.

Why in a country supposedly founded on freedom, and so dedicated to the rights of its citizens, do people have to worry about their every word being monitored and kept in a database in a warehouse somewhere? This type of thing doesn’t sound uncommon in fascist countries, but in a nation so focused on freedom, and democracy, why is this taking place?

The people that are really becoming concerned with the current state of the US are the youth. They’ve been promised that if they work hard in school, go to college, and do their best, they’ll be able to secure a career and live comfortably, “The American Dream.” However, what keeps happening is people get huge loans to pay for their college tuition, only to be unable to find a job, and end up stuck in debt with no real solution as to how to pay it off. Those who join the military are in a similar boat, but one that’s even sadder.

Those in the military join under the guise of defending their country, and its peoples’ freedom, with promises of a secure future, only to return with mental, and sometimes physical scars, and a lot of times end up having to work a dead end job to make ends meet. Most of the time it seems as if the things they were putting their lives on the line for, didn’t seem to make as much sense as they initially believed.

The climate of the country, and the world at large is rapidly changing. Whatever the changes mean, it’s obvious changes are necessary. Increasingly, people in the U.S. are becoming more frustrated with the way things are going. Our view on those in government power is changing.

The New Lows of the Anti-Gay Bill in Indiana

As the national debate over same-sex marriage heats up, many states are drawing lines in the sand on this issue. Most recently, in a bold move by the state of Indiana, they have revived a year old bill (originally introduced by states such as Kansas and Virginia) that proposed giving businesses the right to refuse services to homosexuals.

The Teeth of it…

A bigger, bolder step towards bigotry, this bill would allow businesses of virtually all kinds to refuse services to homosexuals based solely on the notion of “religious freedom.” This is a step above previously proposed bills of this kind as the vast majority of past bills have asserted that this amendment would only apply to services in relation to the marriage ceremony. This new bill proposes that anyone be allowed to refuse services to homosexuals based on personal moral conviction. Furthermore, this would apply in both the public and private sectors.

On the Cutting Edge of Oppression

This begs the question, if bills like this are seriously being proposed and considered, where will it end?! Though it’s being said that “gay is the new black” I disagree with that statement for a few reasons. Particularly, black is a skin color that can’t usually be hidden. That being said, how does one gauge the “gay”?? Effeminate men are no more correlated with homosexuality than masculine women. Furthermore, with bromances and kissing bff’s everywhere you look who’s to say who is or isn’t homosexual?! A bill like this will leave the door open for virtually anyone to get turned away for any reason. A slippery slope.

The Bottom Line…

Homosexuality is not a new convention and is certainly here to stay. Whether or not one agrees with the lifestyle, we should all learn to be decent enough humans to simply live and let live…

Venus L

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