Why Good Girls Like Bad Guys: The Shockingly Simple Truth
For as long as I can recall, there has always been a social notion that suggests “good” girls are attracted to “bad” boys. You know the storyline by now: The geek who will do anything to get the girl is ignored, while she chases after the bad guy, who couldn’t care less if she’s even breathing. Why is this? Why will someone choose a person who will do nothing for him or her, over someone who will do anything? The answer is simpler than you think.
Boys Are No Different
A slight digression, but men actually do have similar patterns. Many men also ignore “good” women in favor of women who want them for superficial reasons and thus, treat them poorly. So, why is that?! The short answer: we all like a challenge. As the saying goes, “If it seems to good to be true, it probably is.” This is the prevailing philosophy of humanity.
That is to say, we tend to assume the worst of those who make it easiest for us. Surely they must be a loser if they are doing everything in the world to get your attention…right?! Wrong! Though this behavior is sometimes the mark of a desperate person who will take anyone, it is also often the mark of someone who truly loves you. (I know, imagine that!) Nevertheless, a person who goes out of her or his way for you, in this society, is often viewed as a lesser choice than a person who makes you work to win favor.
Furthermore, we are conditioned to believe that we have to “fight” for love…when those who let it come to them seem to be the ones that last the longest. Most women (and men) like the idea of taming a monster. That is to say, people thoroughly like the idea of having to coax someone into commitment. We love having a person wrapped around our finger many try to get close to, and fail.
Don’t Kid Yourself
You’re likely in this situation now; pining for affection from some jerk who ignores you while you ignore someone who is begging for your time. It’s hard to desire something you feel you already have…or can have…so you don’t, right? Still, is this the right way to go about it? I highly doubt it. Overall, there’s something be said about opposites attracting, compatibility, and all the other mumbo-jumbo…but in this case, I think society complicates the why of it.
Good girls like bad boys because they make them earn their love. They know they deserve better and simply dream of the day when he will see that as well. Don’t hold your breath! There’s good and bad in everyone, and the guy that’s being a jerk to you is likely hoping and praying that some “bad” girl will give him a chance…