Lame Fame

Lame Fame


Everybody and their mothers want to be famous. The talent/fame ratio has never been lower. People spend inordinate amounts of time dreaming about red carpets, and with the encouragement of all who tell them to follow their dreams, they succeed. They do the hard work of saying and doing anything that will allow them to reach their goal; including lying, cheating, and all those other devilish things we love.

Fake it ‘til you make it is our national theme. There is a section of the population that think the hard work is simply hustling, and I am a hater. I’m quite cool with that. Enjoy all your followers and soon enough, you’ll get the impression that your shit don’t stink, and start to lose. How many stories have we heard of people trying to stretch their fifteen minutes into an hour and come up 45 minutes short?

I know a few people at various levels of fame. The ones I get along with are really not comfortable with being famous. They treat fame as a side effect of being great at what they do. They don’t travel with a dozen people so whispers of “he must be somebody” can be heard. I’ve had people come up to me after a show and ask “Why aren’t you famous?” I tell them because my plan is working.

My entire 30 years in standup have been spent avoiding fame at all costs. They say you can’t have it all. So, I’m going to give up chasing fame. I’m not entirely comfortable with the very, low level of fame I have. For years, I’ve had trouble taking the smallest compliment. I can’t imagine not being able to go out in public and have people tailing me. We are inundated with a whole lot of Lucy’s, constantly scheming on how to attract more, and more attention.

Do you know who I am??

Yes, you’re on that show, but you still have to go to jail for drinking and driving you idiot!!

William Stephenson

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