From Friends to Physical: Top 5 Reasons Men and Women Can’t be Friends

The idea that (heterosexual) men and women may be able to participate in strictly platonic relationships is one of the most debated notions amongst people across the globe. On the one hand, we’ve all had friends of the opposite sex that we have never been physical with.Other the other hand, however, we all have also had to turn down the sexual advances of a trusted buddy…or even moments where we forcibly quelled our own inappropriate attractions.

That being said, please consider: The Top 5 Reasons Men & Women Can’t be Friends

5. Sexual Attraction– Let’s begin by stating the obvious: if you have hot, ‘platonic’ friends, you’re in trouble. Not that you won’t be able to control yourself (nevertheless, you may not want to) but regularly being around someone who you find sexually attractive is one of the worst way to avoid having sex with said person. What’s more, your ‘friend’ may also find you attractive…which means they may also be having their own dreams and dirty thoughts about you. Even if you’re involved in a relationship, how long do you think it will take before an awkward silence turns into kissing…or more…?

4. Jealous Significant Others– That being said, if you are in a relationship and have close friends of the opposite sex, your thoughts might not be the ones most threatening to the situation. It’s not uncommon for significant others to become jealous of platonic relationship even when they truly have nothing to worried about. Watching someone spend you’re involved with give time and attention to some unrelated person of the opposite sex can be a lot for anyone to deal with. What’s more, most men and women have playfully flirtatious relationships which only add to this insecurity. It usually doesn’t take very long for the threats and ultimatums to start flying…

3.Break-ups and Rebounds– Speaking of which, be very careful after breakups! Being vulnerable or ‘on the rebound’ is a part of many people’s process when getting over a relationship. Add to this, a fairly to extremely attractive friend, as well as some sexual chemistry, and you’ve got a recipe for rebound sex. Ideally this may not ruin a friendship, but more often than not it will. Furthermore, it will change the way you view one another and you may find that going back to being ‘just’ friends after such an experience to be next to impossible.

2. People/ Things Change– To piggy back off of number 3, people/ things change! Just because you weren’t interested in dating someone when you first met them (and vice versa) doesn’t mean that things will stay that way. People grow up, go through things, then all of a sudden even you’re goofy buddy starts to look like a dashing prospect. This can sometimes be the best thing ever. However, other times it may just be a relationship of convenience ending once you reach the realization that you were never compatible.

1. Secret Crushes– The top platonic relationship killer typically comes along when the realization that one or both of you never intended for it to be platonic to begin with. As humans, we often settle for whatever role we can get in someone’s life if we deem them as special in some way. That is to say, someone may be in a committed relationship or have other limitations that prevent them from being available when you first meet them. Most people will attempt to remain in their lives under the guise of ‘friendship’ just waiting for the perfect time to strike. In fact, I’d venture to say that this is the case within most platonic relationships. Just think about it, when you become friends with anyone, you usually do so because something attracted you to them.  This is all well and good when you are of the same gender (assuming you’re straight) but where do you go from there when you’re just a pair of heterosexuals? (Indeed, many so-called ‘platonic’ relationships begin with either one-sided or mutual flirtation.) Lastly, it seems that men are the least likely to sniff this out as most have been conditioned to be the hunters and can’t fathom a woman going such great lengths to win them over. (In fact, this may be the preferred method for some as many prefer to get close to someone before making a move in order to lessen the likelihood of rejection and humiliation) Don’t be so naive, fellas! If a woman is hanging around a lot, don’t think she’s not a threat simply because you don’t find her attractive. It takes 2 to tango…but only 1 to initiate! Keep that in mind…

The Bottom Line…

This was not written in order to discourage men and women from being friends. On the contrary, these ideas are being presented to encourage people to closely examine their relationships and to be open and honest with the people in their lives. Nothing lasts forever and many friendships are seasonal. However, many still could be saved from years of pointless yearning and turmoil if they simply refuse to accept those dreaded words ‘Let’s just be friends’…

Man's Best Friend

Top 5 Reasons Everyone Needs a ‘Bestie’

It’s no secret, the world is one confusing place. The cultural norms as well as what is considered socially acceptable is shifting by the day. Gone are the days in which genuine social interactions are promoted, and instead this has been replaced with the superficial semblance of communing and sentimentality that is the world-wide web. Now that humans are officially capable of meeting and communicating with billions of people across the globe, people are encouraged not to dwell on those who do not fit into their own ideals of goodness. Thusly, loyalty and the longevity of friendships seems to be a thing of the past. Though it is true that people need to be able to stand on their own 2 feet, it is almost equally important that we as humans are connecting with the rest of humanity. That being said, here are the top 5 reasons why everyone needs a ‘bestie’…

5. Motivation– Obviously, it is our own, personal job to keep ourselves motivated. On the flip side, that is not always so realistic. We all go through things that interferes with our creativity. A good friend will always be there in order to help remind you of why you and your goals in life are worthy and important. This is an invaluable service as even the filthy rich have off days.

4. Fun Times– Though this seems to go without saying, having fun and letting loose is a vital practice for every happy, well-adjusted adult. No matter how hard you work, or how busy you are, you should always make time for a little R&R. Good friends have a way about them that makes even the most daunting tasks seem more delightful and doable. Sometimes the only thing you need to get the bottom of a ‘to-do list’, is the company of a good friend.

3. Venting– This one is huge as it is equally important to be able to vent personal frustrations, as it is to find a friend trustworthy enough to vent your most personal woes to. The art of venting can be highly therapeutic as it allows for you to get hurtful events and situations off of your mind and heart long enough to find relief and viable solutions. On the other hand, this could also be a recipe for disaster if you’re trusting the wrong person. Therefore, do be certain the person you turn to in such times, is the type of person that is deserving of this level of trust.

2. Growth– Growing is a part of life. We grow in many ways throughout our lifetimes, both seen and unseen. That being said, often times, it is the people whom we spend the most time with who help incite the thoughts or events that ultimately cause us to learn and grow. Sometimes it’s in the name of ‘friendly competition’, other times, it’s simply a natural unfolding of events. Either way, it is obviously a plus if you have someone in your life who recognizes your need for growth and gently pushes you to realize your potential.

1. Understanding– The top reason that everyone needs a best friend is to have someone who truly understands them. Unbeknownst to many, being understood and having a sense of belonging is the very crux of human existence, for most. Indeed, when one is going through situations and circumstances that seem to be all but unbelievable, there are few words more powerful than ‘I understand’.

Overall…

It is undoubtedly true that humans can get through life without the companionship of another living soul. Many ingenious minds spent the majority of their lives helping to further humanity, in all but isolated conditions. On the other hand, it also has to be said that the most happy and healthy adults have formed strong, lifelong bonds with the people in their lives. This is a much more difficult task for some of us than others. Nevertheless, think outside of the box. If humans don’t seem to get you, try the animal kingdom. Most beings are capable of bonding and empathy. Indeed, there’s a reason that creatures such as dogs have long since been labeled as ‘man’s best friend’.

Venus L