Break-Up Bullies

Break-Up Bullies: Why You Never Know Who You’re with…Until You Split

 

Definitely, being an introverted and highly analytical human has its advantages. On the one hand, we’re often thought to be neurotic over-thinkers who create problems when there are none. On the other hand, we’re often the only ones who can foresee the possibility of situations that seem perfectly fine in the present, going drastically downhill in the future. Namely, relationships.

…And then what??

Yeah, it’s all fun and games until “Prince Charming” cheats on you, or you find out that your little “Cinderella” was only seeking that happily ever after cash. Now what?! If you’re like most people, you ignore the negative aspects of your mate until you are forced to confront them. Thus, eventually leaving you with the rude awakening that your dream guy/gal was anything but.

You’ve likely seen them…or maybe you’ve even been there yourself; a couple seems all but perfect, then they break up and all of a sudden one or both of them is out for blood. They are cutting up clothing, bashing cars and reputations…seems counterintuitive for two people who supposedly love each other, no?

How Did We Get Here?

Well, this is a loaded question…there are a number of ways in which someone could go from a great relationship to a terrible breakup, but the bottom line is that you don’t know your ex-partner as well as you thought you did…

As aforementioned, people often ignore these negative traits for the sake of holding together their relationship. For example, if you go on a date with someone and they’re ridiculously rude to the wait staff, for no apparent reason…this is likely someone who has some character issues. Likewise, if you get into arguments with someone, and they throw every low blow at you they can muster up, this is likely someone who will try to ruin your life when your relationship is over.

Even more, often people don’t know how to let things go. If they planned on being with one person forever, some people might take their relationships for granted; lie, cheat, and steal, and still expect you to stay with them. On the flip-side, there are also people who can’t accept rejection and feel if you leave them, they have the right to ruin your life…because in their mind, you have purposely ruined theirs.

To take it a step further, many will attempt to shame you publicly, hoping you will come back to them and try to make amends; calling jobs, friends, posting your indiscretions on social media…these are all ways to try to win you back. Sound stupid?? It is!

How Can This Be Prevented?!

Get to know people! Find out about their exes, and how the relationships ended. If someone is dragging all of their exes’ names through the mud, it’s not because they’re a blameless victim and you’re better than the rest of them. Rather, it’s usually because this person lashes out when they feel rejected and can’t take responsibility for his or her own actions.

The Breakup Bottom-line

Typically, breakups bring out the worst in people because they also have the potential to bring out the best in them. Those you love can illicit hate because in feeling that deeply for someone, you will suffer a great deal when forced to feel bereft of said feeling.

Furthermore, often times people choose relationships that are beneficial to them in many ways, and may never love anyone at all. These people are happy and agreeable as long as they’re getting their way. The arguments, fights, etc…pay attention to them.
If someone is overreacting about small things, expect the overreactions to be magnified when it’s truly lover.

Though maturity level plays a huge factor, the bottom-line is that many people seem to relish in the chance to hurt someone, they once loved.

 

Venus L

Stalker

He’s Way Too Into You: How to Spot a Stalker Before It’s Too Late

We’ve likely all been there at some point; that awkward moment when a friend has no other choice but to yell out, “Stalker! Stage 5! Clinger”! Face it, that cute little guy/gal that you’ve been seeing is not who you thought they were. Their feelings for you are teetering on obsessive and the longer you keep feeding into it, the worse off you’ll be when you finally end it. What are the signs someone has stalker-tendencies?

I’m so glad you asked…

Won’t Accept “No” to Hanging Out…
We all enjoy a little togetherness now and again. And of course, it can be hurtful when a significant other doesn’t want to spend time with us. However, there’s a huge difference between requesting to be invited along, and demanding it. If you’re with someone who consistently does the latter, look out! Normal people have lives! No fairly well-rounded, self-respecting person feels the need to be around someone 24 hours a day. If you find yourself literally lying about your whereabouts to keep your partner from showing up, you might need security when this thing is over…

Needs to be Included in EVERYthing…

In keeping with the above sentiments, another tell-tale sign of dealing with the overbearing stalker type is their need to be included in every single aspect of your life. Not to be confused with a supportive partner who may take interest in your life or hobbies in order to further a bond. No, this is the one who joins your band even though they can’t sing, goes to games even though they hate sports, etc…only because they don’t want you to be somewhere having fun with them. Furthermore, these people are usually party-poopers and tend to ruin most outings with complaining and other shenanigans. This is typically done purposely to alienate you from your friends and force the relationship into a proverbial bubble, away from all of your loved ones, at some point.

Seems to Believe That Breaking Up = Death

Granted, we all tend to have a bit of melodramatic, hopeless romantic dwelling within us. However, for the stalker type, they really believe they’ll die without you. The thought of ever being apart from you is too much for them to bear, so they literally do everything in their power, to try to force themselves into every aspect of your life, just to make it that much harder for you to ever get rid of them. This is the type that will go visit your grandmother in a nursing home during a fight, hoping to run into you. Or the type that tries to buddy up to your co-workers and friends so they can call them whenever they can’t find you. Yes, sometimes relationships evolve like this naturally…but in this case, it will be quite clear to you if you’re paying attention. This is the kind of person who will be overly nice to anyone whom they feel might be able to help bring you guys closer…even if they secretly hate them or are totally disinterested in their life and well-being.

The Bottom Line…

Breaking up is always hard to do. Some of us take it much harder than others and sometimes we even deserve the dramatic over-reactions. On the flip side, no one deserves to literally have to switch jobs, change numbers, or even skip town to get away from someone. These are the culprits who end up on “Snapped” and you, a posthumous observer…

Venus L