In an age in which the sanctity of marriage is quickly dwindling, the thin lines between love and hate seem to be all but completely blurred. That is to say, in a world promoting “friends with benefits” over official boyfriend/girlfriend relationships discerning whether you have found someone to love…or simply someone to like…for now has become increasingly difficult. Relax!
To assist in cutting out the guess work, here are the top 3 signs that your love is real!
3. You Found Love in A Hopeless Place―More than a reference to the queen of the pop charts, Rihanna, love is often found in the darkest of days…when it’s the last thing on your mind. This is not to say that it’s not love if these weren’t your circumstances. However, if a person goes out of his or her way to lift you up during times of trouble and loves you despite your dismal circumstances, you can safely assume that these actions may be motivated by love.
2. They Make You Better―This is more than a reference to the song by Rapper, Fabolous. Love should make you more of the person you aim to be, not less. If you are miserable and suppressing who you really are just to hold on to a relationship, you are only doing yourself a disservice. The truth doesn’t stay buried for long. Why pretend to be someone else for years, only to get left when the person finds out who you really are years later? Furthermore, if someone loves you he or she won’t spend their life trying to “fix” you. When this is the case, you are not wanted, only what they believe you have the potential to live up to…which may or may not ever fully come to fruition. Indeed, even if it does…do you really want to be with someone who feels you need years of work to be a suitable partner?
1. You Can Live Without Them―This is not a typo. When you are truly in love with someone you should also have your own life. There is also a thin line between love and hate, but also love and codependency. There is a reason this country’s divorce rate has been steady at 50% for so long. Many relationships are formed out of convenience, fear of being alone, etc., rather than two people taking the time to get to know one another and then decide they are right for each other. There are many people who have never been alone; never even considered it. How is this relevant? You learn the most about yourself when you are devoid of the influence of others. When you spend your entire life jumping from one relationship to the next, you may wake up one day and realize that you’re unhappy with everything. Indeed, how can you truly be satisfied with life…until you know who you are? Healthy relationships with longevity are typically found where each respective partner has their own set of hobbies and friends as well as shared and collective ones.
Overall, love is a complex concept as the definition seems to vary from person to person. Never let anyone else tell you what may or may not be right for you…but also don’t sell yourself short!
If it’s love, you should never have to ask, you should just… feel it!