Regret All of Your Past Regrets

Regret All of Your Past Regrets

There is a common life philosophy—one should live free of regrets because regret creates unhappiness, and past actions are beyond one’s control. While the former statements are true, there is another (perhaps better) reason that people should try not to rue their past acts. Whenever you make a decision, you are making what you believe to be the best one with the information you have at that point in time. The saying “hindsight is 20/20” means, that, with the knowledge, wisdom and emotional distance, you might conclude differently and by extension, act in another way than you previously did.

We constantly make decisions all the time, actually, most are unconscious. Even if the choice made was, in retrospect, a “bad” one (although that is a relative term), it was made because you genuinely thought it was for the best. It is our nature to take care of ourselves. Even when someone does something that is constituted as “self-sabotage” such as, passively-aggressively ruining a relationship or intentionally missing an opportunity, there is some reason he or she has done so.

People don’t hurt themselves for no reason. Many times an avoidance relates to fear of rejection or getting emotional entwined with something, or someone. This is a defense mechanism. Arguably, not a very good one in the longterm, but it keeps people within their comfort zones and protects them from their fears.

We can always learn from past mistakes, and apply that knowledge to the present and future. It’s important to be compassionate to yourself and give yourself the benefit of the doubt, and not chastise yourself for past errors. Most importantly, accepting mistakes or your past means that you can be compassionate towards yourself, and move on from more difficult times. The most unlikable and miserable people you’ll meet are this way because they don’t like themselves.

Or, as RuPaul so wisely said, “If you can’t love yourself, how the hell are you gonna love someone else?”

Micaela Gardner

Hidden Karma: On Why You Can't Always Witness the Karma of Others

Hidden Karma: On Why You Can’t Always Witness the Karma of Others

If you are a believer in karma, or the idea “you reap what you sow,” there have undoubtedly been moments in which you have wanted to take this universal law into your own hands. There is always that one miserable person who seems to have better luck than most, leaving you scratching your head and buckling your brow in disgust. “Why do they get all the breaks?!” Trust me, they don’t!

The Karma Conundrum

The problem with karma is that though it is guaranteed to come back around; however, it is not a guarantee that you will get to watch and delight in the suffering of others. This is where the issue comes in for most, we as humans, are only able to go off of what we can see and what we hear, karma is certainly not always that neat. Yes, it would be awesome if we all had front-row seats to watch the things that someone does to you, come back to them. Life rarely works out how you want. If someone is financially better off than you and seem happy when you see them, doesn’t mean they are really happy. The reason many people believe that karma isn’t working is because we are all on the outside looking in on the lives of those around us.

For EVERY Action…

For every action there is an equal reaction, this is the universal law. If you put negativity out into the world, then it will come back to you. Typically, negativity will come back with increased intensity because as we have learned, energy can never be created or destroyed. All things come out in due time so before you take to steps to avenge yourself against someone who has wronged you, do keep in mind revenge karma exists. As the saying goes: “before you seek revenge, dig two graves, one for them, the other for yourself.”