From Friends to Physical: Top 5 Reasons Men and Women Can’t be Friends

The idea that (heterosexual) men and women may be able to participate in strictly platonic relationships is one of the most debated notions amongst people across the globe. On the one hand, we’ve all had friends of the opposite sex that we have never been physical with.Other the other hand, however, we all have also had to turn down the sexual advances of a trusted buddy…or even moments where we forcibly quelled our own inappropriate attractions.

That being said, please consider: The Top 5 Reasons Men & Women Can’t be Friends

5. Sexual Attraction– Let’s begin by stating the obvious: if you have hot, ‘platonic’ friends, you’re in trouble. Not that you won’t be able to control yourself (nevertheless, you may not want to) but regularly being around someone who you find sexually attractive is one of the worst way to avoid having sex with said person. What’s more, your ‘friend’ may also find you attractive…which means they may also be having their own dreams and dirty thoughts about you. Even if you’re involved in a relationship, how long do you think it will take before an awkward silence turns into kissing…or more…?

4. Jealous Significant Others– That being said, if you are in a relationship and have close friends of the opposite sex, your thoughts might not be the ones most threatening to the situation. It’s not uncommon for significant others to become jealous of platonic relationship even when they truly have nothing to worried about. Watching someone spend you’re involved with give time and attention to some unrelated person of the opposite sex can be a lot for anyone to deal with. What’s more, most men and women have playfully flirtatious relationships which only add to this insecurity. It usually doesn’t take very long for the threats and ultimatums to start flying…

3.Break-ups and Rebounds– Speaking of which, be very careful after breakups! Being vulnerable or ‘on the rebound’ is a part of many people’s process when getting over a relationship. Add to this, a fairly to extremely attractive friend, as well as some sexual chemistry, and you’ve got a recipe for rebound sex. Ideally this may not ruin a friendship, but more often than not it will. Furthermore, it will change the way you view one another and you may find that going back to being ‘just’ friends after such an experience to be next to impossible.

2. People/ Things Change– To piggy back off of number 3, people/ things change! Just because you weren’t interested in dating someone when you first met them (and vice versa) doesn’t mean that things will stay that way. People grow up, go through things, then all of a sudden even you’re goofy buddy starts to look like a dashing prospect. This can sometimes be the best thing ever. However, other times it may just be a relationship of convenience ending once you reach the realization that you were never compatible.

1. Secret Crushes– The top platonic relationship killer typically comes along when the realization that one or both of you never intended for it to be platonic to begin with. As humans, we often settle for whatever role we can get in someone’s life if we deem them as special in some way. That is to say, someone may be in a committed relationship or have other limitations that prevent them from being available when you first meet them. Most people will attempt to remain in their lives under the guise of ‘friendship’ just waiting for the perfect time to strike. In fact, I’d venture to say that this is the case within most platonic relationships. Just think about it, when you become friends with anyone, you usually do so because something attracted you to them.  This is all well and good when you are of the same gender (assuming you’re straight) but where do you go from there when you’re just a pair of heterosexuals? (Indeed, many so-called ‘platonic’ relationships begin with either one-sided or mutual flirtation.) Lastly, it seems that men are the least likely to sniff this out as most have been conditioned to be the hunters and can’t fathom a woman going such great lengths to win them over. (In fact, this may be the preferred method for some as many prefer to get close to someone before making a move in order to lessen the likelihood of rejection and humiliation) Don’t be so naive, fellas! If a woman is hanging around a lot, don’t think she’s not a threat simply because you don’t find her attractive. It takes 2 to tango…but only 1 to initiate! Keep that in mind…

The Bottom Line…

This was not written in order to discourage men and women from being friends. On the contrary, these ideas are being presented to encourage people to closely examine their relationships and to be open and honest with the people in their lives. Nothing lasts forever and many friendships are seasonal. However, many still could be saved from years of pointless yearning and turmoil if they simply refuse to accept those dreaded words ‘Let’s just be friends’…

Top 5 Ways Watching Porn Ruins Your Sex Life

It’s no secret, pornographic videos are a billion dollar industry. Though I am by no means suggesting that viewing porn is deviant or immoral behavior, I believe it’s fine time that people begin to examine the side effects of regularly watching pornography. Please consider:

The Top 5 Ways Watching Porn Ruins Your Sex Life…

5. Unrealistic Expectations– OK, clearly porn is a part of the film industry…which means it’s all staged. This is an obvious element of these films. Nevertheless, the lack of even a proper introduction and not so much as a dinner date and couples dive straight into (pun unintended) hardcore sex? Slightly unrealistic to say the very least. On the flip side,this does seem to be something that is becoming more and more common place in this day and age; random hook-ups and flings? Could there be some correlation?

4. Improper Technique– The purpose of porn is to entertain and I’d be remiss if I didn’t point out that most of these videos are made by and for the male species. That being said, almost nothing about watching porn will show a man how to truly please a woman’s body. They may show you how to make her curse, scream, holler, and claw…but I believe you’ll that such actions do not always equate to pleasure in the real world. If you’re watching porn for bedroom tips, you’re doing it wrong…

3. No Intimacy– The main feature of porn is said to be the ‘wham, bam, thank you ma’am’ approach to sex. That is to say there is very little talking, holding, kissing, or anything that may slightly resemble true love and affection in these videos. This is all well and good, but this is also one of the top complaints when it comes to women being dissatisfied in the bedroom. If you have heard or even made this complaint before perhaps you should take a moment to find out why someone would be so comfortable having full on sex with a person…yet not comfortable looking them in the eyes or holding their hand. Counter-intuitive to say the very least…

2. Instant Gratification– As aforementioned, the premise of most porn videos is to introduce 2 people and get them having sex as quick as possible. To take it a step further, many turn to pornography when they are experiencing sexual frustration. This is not necessarily the worst thing in the world, however, sometimes the reason we are experiencing said frustration is because we need to work on our relationships or ourselves. The usage of porn in these instances usually hurt instead of help the situation.

1. There’s No ‘Unsee’ Button– The things we see stick with us. From what I gather, there are hundreds or even thousands of different genres of pornography. Some are more on the ‘normal’ side while others are far to the left. Either way, mistakenly coming across a disgusting video is something that may stay imprinted in your brain, and thus affect your libido, for the remainder of your life. Indeed, even clicking on various posts on social networks such as Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram can introduce you to a whole new world that you neither knew, nor wanted to know, existed.

The Bottom Line…

Pornography will likely always be a controversial issue. Whether you choose to view it regularly or not, do keep in mind that these scenes are not real and the only way to have a happy sex life is to communicate with your partner.

Venus L

Oldie but Goodies: Top 5 Youtube Workouts for Seniors

Staying in shape is important at every age. Thought many believe they lack the time and/or resources to stay fit, the internet has contributed largely to giving individuals the knowledge and tutorials to get/stay fit in the comfort of their very own homes. No matter how busy or sedentary your lifestyle, rest assured that there is always time for exercise. After combing through pages and pages of free workout videos for seniors, I have compiled a list of the 5 that are the most effective without requiring too much time, equipment, or movement. Welcome to:

The Top 5 Youtube Workouts for Seniors

5. Senior Citizen Forever Young Cardio Aerobics– Time Commitment: 14:46. Equipment Needed: None. Target: Full Body. Join Senior aerobics instructor, Victoria Popoff, as she dances and instructs to some timeless tracks. Yes, sweat to the oldies with this fun and effective workout perfect for anyone seeking for low impact cardio. And who knows, you may even learn a new step or 2…

4. Pilates for Seniors-Great Pilates Workout for Beginners and Seniors (Part 1)– Time Commitment: 10 minutes.  Equipment Needed: Mat or Soft Floor. Target: Full Body/ Strength Training. Looking for a low impact way to tone and strengthen your entire body?! Look no further! Try this short workout and introduction into the wonderful world of Pilates. This is a floor workout but this is also something that could be tried from the comfort of your own couch or bed, safely of course…

3. Actively Aging Energizing Chair Yoga– Time Commitment: 33:09. Equipment Needed: A Stable Chair. Target: Full Body/ Balance/ Stretching/ Flexibility. It’s never too late to learn a new skill! Yoga is arguably one of the best types of workouts for seniors as it is notoriously low impact and utilizes personal strengths while improving weak areas. Grab a chair and join Sherry Zak Morris, E-RYT as she instructs you into a thinner, leaner, stronger body.

2.Fit Over 50- Abdominal Exercises– Time Commitment: 6:34. Equipment Needed: A Mat and 2 dumbbells. Target: Abdominal Muscles. Who says you have to be young to have washboard abs?! This short workout was created on the popular free tutorial site MonkeySee.com, this is the perfect workout for those who are seeking to tone up their midsection. Short but effective, this is not only good for seniors, it’s good for everyone! Grab a mat and a set of small free weights (1-5 pounds to start) and jump on in!

1. Jane Fonda Walking Cardio Workout: Level 1– Time Commitment: 26:45. Equipment Needed: 1 Chair. 1 Towel. This one is simultaneous a blast from the past and glimpse into the future. Watch and sweat along with the lovable actress, Jane Fonda as she shows that hard work pays off at every age. Indeed, with a better figure than many 20-year-olds, Fonda presents a series of low impact moves that are sure to get your blood pumping and your body back in shape!

Overall

Staying fit and healthy is of high importance to everyone, especially seniors. Share this list with any senior who needs a little fitness push or anyone who may have an inactive senior in their lives. Email, text them, or just invite them over and do the workout with them! And as always, make sure you consult a physician before beginning any new workout plan. Happy training!

Venus L

Top 5 Places You Should Never Listen to Kerboo

Top 5 Places You Should Never Listen to Kerboo

5. Church—Perhaps you could sneak in a few of his tracks at a secular wedding ceremony or something…but for the most part, Kerboo’s super steamy lover’s music is probably better left out of God’s pews. I mean, I’m not exactly sure what happens when a bunch of devoutly religious people simultaneously “get in the mood,” but suffice to say, I don’t really want to find out. Not sexy!

4. Around Platonic Friends—OK, this is kind of a no-brainer, for those of us who actually have them. In case this isn’t you, Kerboo’s grown and sexy music is intended to set a mood for lovers. If you’re not trying to set a mood, it would behoove you to play something else as you will only be sending mixed signals to the mixed-up individual who is futilely trying to woo you. “Gosh, maybe he is interested after all. We’ve been listening to Kerboo for hours…”

3. During a Break-up—To piggy back off number 4, playing Kerboo during a break-up is the ultimate mark of mixed-messaging. You are likely to confuse or even anger a soon to be ex by playing such beautiful music whilst giving them their walking papers. They may be expecting you to make it official while you’re just trying to make it officially over. Turn off the radio and play it when they leave…but if they’re within earshot, please for the love of God, make sure it’s not “South Side Flair!”

2. Office Parties—You don’t love your coworkers, you likely don’t even like them. So, you don’t want to listen to such potent love music around them. I mean, some tracks are cool for a midday playlist. However, on Friday at your local watering hole, that little cutie who has been giving you the eye may just decide the time is now and make his or her move if certain tracks are playing. You of course will also be powerless to this audio love potion…which could ultimately leave one of you on maternity leave nine months later. Please consider your futures!

1. “Gangsta” Parties—Look, gangsters don’t like love, and they’re not about to start today. Sure, most have a softer side that the rest of the world may never get to see, but that is the point…we’re not supposed to see their softer sides. Don’t go bursting into house parties trying to rep with #KlubKerboo merch. We do not yet have a deployable militia, and will not at all be held accountable for any subsequently arising issues.
Overall, there is honestly never a bad time to listen to Kerboo. On the other hand, it is not always the best time to recruit those around you into #KlubKerboo. Trust me, there will be plenty of time for that…

Venus L

Man's Best Friend

Top 5 Reasons Everyone Needs a ‘Bestie’

It’s no secret, the world is one confusing place. The cultural norms as well as what is considered socially acceptable is shifting by the day. Gone are the days in which genuine social interactions are promoted, and instead this has been replaced with the superficial semblance of communing and sentimentality that is the world-wide web. Now that humans are officially capable of meeting and communicating with billions of people across the globe, people are encouraged not to dwell on those who do not fit into their own ideals of goodness. Thusly, loyalty and the longevity of friendships seems to be a thing of the past. Though it is true that people need to be able to stand on their own 2 feet, it is almost equally important that we as humans are connecting with the rest of humanity. That being said, here are the top 5 reasons why everyone needs a ‘bestie’…

5. Motivation– Obviously, it is our own, personal job to keep ourselves motivated. On the flip side, that is not always so realistic. We all go through things that interferes with our creativity. A good friend will always be there in order to help remind you of why you and your goals in life are worthy and important. This is an invaluable service as even the filthy rich have off days.

4. Fun Times– Though this seems to go without saying, having fun and letting loose is a vital practice for every happy, well-adjusted adult. No matter how hard you work, or how busy you are, you should always make time for a little R&R. Good friends have a way about them that makes even the most daunting tasks seem more delightful and doable. Sometimes the only thing you need to get the bottom of a ‘to-do list’, is the company of a good friend.

3. Venting– This one is huge as it is equally important to be able to vent personal frustrations, as it is to find a friend trustworthy enough to vent your most personal woes to. The art of venting can be highly therapeutic as it allows for you to get hurtful events and situations off of your mind and heart long enough to find relief and viable solutions. On the other hand, this could also be a recipe for disaster if you’re trusting the wrong person. Therefore, do be certain the person you turn to in such times, is the type of person that is deserving of this level of trust.

2. Growth– Growing is a part of life. We grow in many ways throughout our lifetimes, both seen and unseen. That being said, often times, it is the people whom we spend the most time with who help incite the thoughts or events that ultimately cause us to learn and grow. Sometimes it’s in the name of ‘friendly competition’, other times, it’s simply a natural unfolding of events. Either way, it is obviously a plus if you have someone in your life who recognizes your need for growth and gently pushes you to realize your potential.

1. Understanding– The top reason that everyone needs a best friend is to have someone who truly understands them. Unbeknownst to many, being understood and having a sense of belonging is the very crux of human existence, for most. Indeed, when one is going through situations and circumstances that seem to be all but unbelievable, there are few words more powerful than ‘I understand’.

Overall…

It is undoubtedly true that humans can get through life without the companionship of another living soul. Many ingenious minds spent the majority of their lives helping to further humanity, in all but isolated conditions. On the other hand, it also has to be said that the most happy and healthy adults have formed strong, lifelong bonds with the people in their lives. This is a much more difficult task for some of us than others. Nevertheless, think outside of the box. If humans don’t seem to get you, try the animal kingdom. Most beings are capable of bonding and empathy. Indeed, there’s a reason that creatures such as dogs have long since been labeled as ‘man’s best friend’.

Venus L