The idea that (heterosexual) men and women may be able to participate in strictly platonic relationships is one of the most debated notions amongst people across the globe. On the one hand, we’ve all had friends of the opposite sex that we have never been physical with.Other the other hand, however, we all have also had to turn down the sexual advances of a trusted buddy…or even moments where we forcibly quelled our own inappropriate attractions.

That being said, please consider: The Top 5 Reasons Men & Women Can’t be Friends

5. Sexual Attraction– Let’s begin by stating the obvious: if you have hot, ‘platonic’ friends, you’re in trouble. Not that you won’t be able to control yourself (nevertheless, you may not want to) but regularly being around someone who you find sexually attractive is one of the worst way to avoid having sex with said person. What’s more, your ‘friend’ may also find you attractive…which means they may also be having their own dreams and dirty thoughts about you. Even if you’re involved in a relationship, how long do you think it will take before an awkward silence turns into kissing…or more…?

4. Jealous Significant Others– That being said, if you are in a relationship and have close friends of the opposite sex, your thoughts might not be the ones most threatening to the situation. It’s not uncommon for significant others to become jealous of platonic relationship even when they truly have nothing to worried about. Watching someone spend you’re involved with give time and attention to some unrelated person of the opposite sex can be a lot for anyone to deal with. What’s more, most men and women have playfully flirtatious relationships which only add to this insecurity. It usually doesn’t take very long for the threats and ultimatums to start flying…

3.Break-ups and Rebounds– Speaking of which, be very careful after breakups! Being vulnerable or ‘on the rebound’ is a part of many people’s process when getting over a relationship. Add to this, a fairly to extremely attractive friend, as well as some sexual chemistry, and you’ve got a recipe for rebound sex. Ideally this may not ruin a friendship, but more often than not it will. Furthermore, it will change the way you view one another and you may find that going back to being ‘just’ friends after such an experience to be next to impossible.

2. People/ Things Change– To piggy back off of number 3, people/ things change! Just because you weren’t interested in dating someone when you first met them (and vice versa) doesn’t mean that things will stay that way. People grow up, go through things, then all of a sudden even you’re goofy buddy starts to look like a dashing prospect. This can sometimes be the best thing ever. However, other times it may just be a relationship of convenience ending once you reach the realization that you were never compatible.

1. Secret Crushes– The top platonic relationship killer typically comes along when the realization that one or both of you never intended for it to be platonic to begin with. As humans, we often settle for whatever role we can get in someone’s life if we deem them as special in some way. That is to say, someone may be in a committed relationship or have other limitations that prevent them from being available when you first meet them. Most people will attempt to remain in their lives under the guise of ‘friendship’ just waiting for the perfect time to strike. In fact, I’d venture to say that this is the case within most platonic relationships. Just think about it, when you become friends with anyone, you usually do so because something attracted you to them.  This is all well and good when you are of the same gender (assuming you’re straight) but where do you go from there when you’re just a pair of heterosexuals? (Indeed, many so-called ‘platonic’ relationships begin with either one-sided or mutual flirtation.) Lastly, it seems that men are the least likely to sniff this out as most have been conditioned to be the hunters and can’t fathom a woman going such great lengths to win them over. (In fact, this may be the preferred method for some as many prefer to get close to someone before making a move in order to lessen the likelihood of rejection and humiliation) Don’t be so naive, fellas! If a woman is hanging around a lot, don’t think she’s not a threat simply because you don’t find her attractive. It takes 2 to tango…but only 1 to initiate! Keep that in mind…

The Bottom Line…

This was not written in order to discourage men and women from being friends. On the contrary, these ideas are being presented to encourage people to closely examine their relationships and to be open and honest with the people in their lives. Nothing lasts forever and many friendships are seasonal. However, many still could be saved from years of pointless yearning and turmoil if they simply refuse to accept those dreaded words ‘Let’s just be friends’…

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