Mountaintop Experiences – Part I: Becoming
I am changing and moving. Leaving everything behind, it is not easy. However, I have decided to follow life and truth along this new way. I have chosen not to be burdened. I am casting my every care, concern and all heaviness. The substance of my life, as I had previously known it, seems to have been thrust into what I can best describe as a continuous upheaval. It has been shaken, broken and devastated. It has become rubbish. The foundation of people, places values and ideas on which my life was built has become incrementally and permanently altered. Before rebuilding could begin, I opted for total demolition.
I have decided to surrender to the process of the moves of the Spirit and no longer attempt to grasp hold of what I can save, but change the positioning of my hands and my arms and rather embrace the immanence of the change brought forth by destruction. No more striving. I will rest and float on the winds. Destruction has become my footstool; thus my head is lifted.
I am becoming a new creature and allowing the truth of my circumstances to wash over me. I understand that because a thing is true does not qualify that thing as truth. I have chosen not to fall apart, but arise anew, carefully and prayerfully, selecting truth in love, in faith, in strength and with a refreshed character. I am being reconstructed and fused together by a great fire. The times of pain yield refreshment, restoration and renewal. For, the new creature is derived from the source of creation: life, light and truth.
In spite of the struggles and through the pains I have decided to rest, to breathe, to hear. As I inhale, I wait and listen. I see and hear what the Spirit speaks to my inner being,” You are not at all who you have believed you were, but far greater. Arise.” The deception is being demolished. The way is being cleared for the genuine article. Thus, I’ve become light. As I wait, I listen and exhale. I am lifted to a place of peace and love. I am being transformed by light and love.
Love has been watching me. Love has heard my cries of agony. And He has come to my rescue. He has not abandoned me but receives me in His healing wings. He has extended an invitation to become like Him. The boundless creator has requested my presence. My eyes, ears and heart have begun to receive pure light resulting in my decision to follow His Spirit where it leads.
I am changing. I am moving. I am leaving everything behind. Though my path is uncertain, I choose to trust the love. I move forward, laying down my agenda and allowing Him to rebuild from ashes and bring forth beauty; to produce Himself from within what was once barren and desolate. I am becoming new.